Happy New Year Everyone – A Short Post When I Can Find Signs of Redemption Even In Liza Minelli

This is my very favorite version of this song, I love it. I first heard it on a Broadway Cares Christmas CD that I bought a few years back. (I highly recommend that disc.)

Liza Minelli and Alan Cumming are so deliciously campy and fun and the song just sounds great. I am more than a little obsessed with Liza… Oh so tragic and always so triumphant. As a little girl I loved Judy Garland and I really loved when Liza would appear with her on TV, those big eyes that scream out “I’m screwed” and “I’m alive” all at once.

I think that evidence of God is found everywhere and no I am not saying that in a pantheistic way; I am speaking of evidence of resurrection and hope in all kinds of things. If you can’t see signs of redemption and resurrection in Liza then please keep looking! It is all there.

Faith is not about a single triumph alone – although that is what the Cross is. Our faith is about the ongoing Cross and the constancy of birth (Christmas), death and resurrection(Easter) that is found in all life. And amen to that.

God turns up all all kinds of unlikely places, Liza Minelli included.

Anyway, leave it to me to turn a campy-LizawithaZ post into a sermon!

Some good karma brought this video my way and I share it with you this New Year’s Eve 2009! Happy 2010!

Still Up In The Air – More Thoughts on the Movie and a Link

I am quite moved by how many people have reacted to my post about seeing Up In The Air. It really is a morality tale for our time.

Please – if you have not already done so – go read what Bill Lindsey has written over at Bilgrimage, about this film. And if for no other reason, go check out the amazing graphic that he uses to illustrate this post!

Even so, I think you’d miss the point if you concluded that “Up in the Air” is about a few bad apples in a system that is wobbling around and can be set back on its moral foundations with a bit of spiffing up and a bit of work. For me, the message of the movie is that we’re all complicit in building the morally rotten, spiritually vacuous economic system with which we now live, and whose decay has eaten away the soul of our nation, our own souls.

I think that Bill is really onto something – we are all complicit. I have said that about other matters and often get a lot of pushback. Honestly though, if think about it, we are all complicit in any system that we are a part of – be it corporate America, the Democratic Party, the Catholic church or anything else.

There is no way to not be complicit – it is not black or white. However, we can consider how we might transform and be transformed by good. I am reminded here of our Christmas reading from Isaiah 9:1-6:

The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom
a light has shone.

We have seen the Light, we always see the Light and now we must “re-gift”  that Light in one way or another. To not so is to remain complicit; to do so is to start to pull the curtain open and bring in more Light. It does not happen all at once. To engage in this is to remain engaged in a lifelong process I think.

Anyway, please go read Bill’s essay if you have not. I don’t know about you, but maybe what I will resolve to do in this new year is to remain more engaged in that process of opening the curtains, even if it means tugging at them when through my own activity, I am closing them.

Go see the movie if you have not done so already and share your own thougths about it if you can. As for Bill’s fine work – read the rest here…

Where Would We Go Without A Pope? A Post About A Great Post by Eric Stoltz

(This is a post about a provocative piece of writing and not something written by an apologist for the Pope. Just reminding all before they begin to read… that’s all.)

Thanks to Facebook I have had the good fortune to “meet” Eric Stoltz, a Catholic deacon, (among other things) who lives in Los Angeles.  He is one of the authors of the book Ascend, which I reviewed recently.

In any case, Eric wrote a really interesting post on what would happen if the premise of Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons happened. If you have not read the book or seen the film, it is about a plot to “end” the Roman Catholic Church by destroying St. Peter’s and all the cardinals.

Oh, if it would be but that simple. Church is not a building or an institution but rather the assembly of all the people. As a result, it is not so easily undone.

Eric wisely points out:

“Dan Brown, for all his ridiculous notions and silly ecclesiology, may have given us something significant to ponder. If such a catastrophe as depicted in “Angels and Demons” were to occur, it would not be the end of Christianity, but rather a new era for the disciples of Jesus.”

A new era. It is bound to happen if we are even remotely eschatalogical in nature. And like all things of God, it is likely that whatever happens will be most unlikely and beyond our imagining.

You know – kind of like the enfleshment of the Spirit that many of us have been celebrating these days.

Go ahead  and read what Eric has written by clicking here. Agree or not, you will find it thought provoking.

An Essay Inspired by Seeing "Up In The Air"

This essay was inspired by seeing “Up In The Air.”

I was very restless. I was not sure who I was or where I belonged. My heart longed for intimacy and closeness and I was blessed with many friends – many, many friends and much love. Still, something was not quite right and I was far from being “present” to the moments of much of my life. There were glimpses – but not the real thing.

Wherever I was, I longed to be somewhere else and in my mind I traversed the globe. And in reality, I did much of the same. Why live in my ordinary life, aware of my ennui and discomfort when I could be dreaming of the next stop? It was a balm, narcotic in nature, that I was in need of.

Make no mistake, I was not in constant misery, especially as the years passed. (Earlier I was!) However, I was not fully alive and I was always waiting for that “next” thing. And no – I did not fire people for a living, quite the contrary!

That next thing could be one of the following – when I get a big raise, when I lose weight, when this big work project passes, when my boss quits, when my secretary leaves, when I find a husband, when I get back from this trip, when I pay off my debt, when I when I when I when I…

Nothing feeds that hamster-wheel like the next plane ticket and itinerary, even if you can’t stand the thought of going to TampaLasVegasAlbuquerqueChicago or to the next SalesMeetingConferenceConvention or whatever it was.

In a life that felt out of control and in the life of a naturally disorganized person there was something deeply calming to the routine. The list looked like this and I would write it and then check off each item or write “wear”:

Mon
Blk pnts___
Gry Swtr set___
Blk flats____

Tues
Blk pnts___
Bl blzr___
Wht top____
Blk low Pumps___

Tues PM
Jeans___
Red shrt___
Blk hoodie___

Wed 
Same as Mon___

Each item was carefully selected and placed in my rolling bag. My suitcases were chosen carefully at the time of purchase – they needed to be compact and light when empty, with durable wheels. I never liked TravelPro; I loved Delsey and Dakota. 

I always had a ziplock filled with sample size shampoo, conditioner, facial products, toothpaste etc. It was necessary to always bring my own blow dryer; it took up a lot of space, but it was a must. I became the queen of the right shoes for both casual and dressy.

I would count out and write down just how many pair of undies I needed and socks. I would also write down things like “sleep” and “work out” and add them to the list; I would pack things into my sneakers and shoes to save room.

Control for a life out of control. 

The car would come at 4am, I would get to Newark at 5am for a 7am flight to wherever. These were those post 9/11 trips, the two hour thing was required and it soothed my anxiety. Sleep was overrated. It was not hard to do.

My Continental Elite status allowed me special check in and security lines; I would go to the President’s Club and read or do some work. When it was time, I would get on the plane – first of course, Elite status. I would more often than not be in First Class.

In the later days, I grew to love JetBlue.

One bag in the overhead, the smaller one under the seat in front of me. I hated the bulkhead seat for that reason, it screwed me up.

On the plane, off the plane. Off the plane, head to Hertz, then Avis, then Enterprise, then Avis again. I always had a car ready, lines and waiting were for suckers. Hop in the car, head to wherever. If I went to Las Vegas or San Francisco or Chicago or to DC I would not rent a car, but would take a taxi or use a car service.

Get to the hotel, check in – usually from a preferred guest line, go to room, often upgraded. Unpack – even if I were there for one night only, I would completely unpack.  My hotels of choice were Hyatts and Starwood Properties, like the W chain.

Or maybe I was going to another Nielsen office or to a client first, then I would do that and the hotel came later.

Then I would use my miles and travel around the world -more pleasurable indeed, but still something was missing. I would be on the plane headed to my destination and in my mind I was planning my next vacation before this one began.

The amassing of miles and points became a passion and all sorts of lengths were gone to in order to use the same airline/hotel/car rental in order to maximize and to “double dip.” I will always fondly remember 1987 as the year of Triple Mileage Bonuses, oh those were the days. 

*sigh*

It was like being pressed up against a thick piece of glass, soundproof glass. I was screaming.

That glass separated me from my own life and I couldn’t always hear the screams.

Now it was not all bad – lots of friends with similar jobs and lifestyles. Great trips, met tons of truly nice people, stayed in lovely hotels and resorts, ate legendary meals in the swankiest restaurants. I got to visit friends and family that I might not have seen so often.

And I read books, lots and lots of books when I flew.

Now I am on the ground and not Up In The Air.

This is better. For me, anyway.

Sweet, Lovely, Docile, Passive. As if. Some Thoughts on Mary.

I quite purposefully use this image of Mary from Medjugorje. Some of you know that as unlikely as it seems, I went there.

Little lady dressed in blue. That is an image of Mary that attracted me as a young girl and who seemingly called out to me as a 30 year old woman who needed faith. Mary – sweet, lovely, docile, passive.

As if.

Recently I offered a reflection at Evening Prayer where I scoffed at this notion of the little lady dressed in blue and I return to that topic today.  It is an image that can invite us, but it might not be the best image to keep with us through all time. I do not say this in disrespect… I say in the face of how we might mature as Christians, especially for Christian women. Sweet, lovely, docile, passive women.

As if.

James Martin, SJ offers us some provocative thoughts about Mary in his piece, “Hail Mary, You have more in common with the mother of Jesus than you think,” published at Slate on Christmas Eve.

Martin reminds us that, “Even if you doubt that the narrative is told accurately, you have to admit that buried within this supposedly pious and saccharine Bible tale is the vivid image of a strong, resilient, and self-possessed woman.”  Did someone say sweet, lovely docile and passive?

As if.

Strong. Resilient. Self-possessed. Now we’re talking, that is the Mary that I have come to know and love. I think she had to be the little lady dressed in blue for me to approach her, but like any relationship, we have plumbed new depths and revealed ourselves to one another.  Oh, how I love idol smashing! She is not just some sweet, lovely, docile, passive woman. Nor am I.

As if.

First of all, thank God that Martin remembers that Mary did not just sweetly assent to being the Mother of God, but she did ask a question first… “How can this be?”  I mean really – how could it be? And yet it was.

Mary asks – and then moves on, saying yes, a yes that changes everything. This is not the work of someone who is only sweet, lovely, docile and passive, thanks be to God.

As if.

No this Mary seems to have “active and conscious participation” in what is happening. How could it be otherwise?  Mary is not some empty vessel, but a participant in redemption – as we all should be, if we are the followers of Christ that we claim to be.

Full, active and conscious participation is demanding; it is not the work of the docile or of the dilettante.  Mary was neither.  Mary was obedient however. Sadly, our contemporary use of language has demeaned obedient to mean, well – docile.

As if.

The etymology of obedience points us towards an attitude of listening and listening should lead us to action of some sort. Mary’s action of listening leads her to her outrageous complicity in the redemption of the world! One must have quiet, one must listen, one must question if one is to have faith and to bring light to the world. Or like Mary, to bring Light to the world. Sweet, lovely, docile and passive does not change the world.

As if.

The Solemnity of Mary the Mother of God is approaching quickly; it is an important part of the Octave of Christmas. I hope that you might read the essay by Fr. Martin and remember just who Mary was – and is, in the world.

We are all called to give birth to the Christ in some way, from our own virgin territory. Oh – that. It doesn’t matter, we all have virgin territory, those places in our souls, however seemingly tiny and shrouded, where we have the tender untouched, flesh given to us by God.

It is at that place that we bring forth the child, following Mary’s example of obedience that is not necessary the obedience of the sweet, lovely, docile and passive.

As if.

Why must we always diminuate the extraordinary? Mary deserves our refocused attention and possibly some adjustments in perception.

Refashion your view of Mary if you can. She is not as one dimensional as you might think. Consider Mary – she’s not just some little lady dressed in blue, sweet, lovely, docile and passive.

As if.

Thanks be to God.

She is the Mother of God, she is the Mother of us all.

I love this image of Mary. I get to see it every day as it hangs by the door where I work. Such fecund, rich, fertility – growth, life, abundance!

O Holy Night – My Favorite Christmas Hymn, 3 Ways

Fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices, O night ivine! Oh night, when Christ was born! O night divine!

The Word was made flesh and dwelt among us. Amen and amen and amen.

Have a happy whatever you celebrate! Feel joy!

A Dream Story Based On Another Story. (The dragon story is a legend, this take on it is by me.)

Last night I dreamed about a story that I had once read and I woke up with the need to rewrite it slightly. I have not really edited this, so if you see errors – spelling, grammar, etc – please let me know. I am still sleepy, but I got up and wrote it, my eyes are still bleary!

Happy Christmas Eve. The wait is over. Don’t be afraid of the dragon or the baby… or of yourself.

Once upon a time there was a boy who learned about the dragon who lived on the other side of the sky. The dragon was out there somewhere and seemed very scary. However, the boy knew that the dragon was benevolent at heart and that the dragon was there to love and protect the people.

As the boy grew, he began to create dragon art. He drew pictures, he painted dragon art too. He sculpted dragons out of clay and he carved them from pieces of wood; he created mosaics of the dragon, made from tiny bits of broken tile and glass. If he found lengths of vine, he wove those into dragon shapes as well. There was no end to the way that he created dragon figures. He often turned to the dragon that he first learned of as a boy for his inspiration, and somehow this dragon spoke into the boy’s heart and helped him create so many things.

The boy grew more and as he got older, he learned more about the dragon; the dragon became his passion in ever-deeper ways. He read about the dragon, learned about the dragon, researched whatever he could and then he began to tell everyone about this amazing dragon.

Many people were afraid of this dragon, but when the boy, now a young man, spoke of him and how the dragon loved the people, hearts softened and opened up. When telling others about the dragon, he had the ability to help his friends and family transcend their feelings on this topic. Fear, ambivalence, distrust, disgust or outright hatred all turned to curiosity and often even love for these mythical creatures that lived in the place on the other side of the sky.

People began to revere the dragon and hoped that if they spoke to the dragon in their dreams that their dreams might come true or that their broken hearts might be healed.

And often, that is what happened, but sometimes it did not. Many people knew that even if their dream did not come true or if their heart were truly broken, the dragon would still console them in their pain and sorrow.

The man who was once the boy who loved the dragon became famous throughout the region and many people came to hear him speak of the dragon or to see all of his creations. His entire home was made in to revere the dragon whose image graced the walls of the house, whose figure was seen in topiary and other exterior decoration.

Eventually, most people lost interest in the dragon and the man. No longer did the men and women think that any of this was worth their time. When they did believe in the dragon, they would all come together and listen to the stories. As a result, they ate meals together and helped each other.

Some other people started telling dragon stories. This was not good because these people used the image of the dragon for their own gain. They used the dragon to frighten people and to coerce them into doing things that were not right. The man spoke out about this, but people thought that the other dragon men might help them get rich or eke out revenge, so they flocked to them. The man’s group grew smaller and smaller.

Eventually, most people decided that they had better things to do, the people of the dragon began to splinter and fall apart. They fought and hurt each other and many people lost their homes and businesses. Those that prevailed took advantage of them and it was a time of despair.

One day the man, who had once been the boy, fell ill and no one was there to help him. His own heart was very broken because his people had stopped believing in and caring for the dragon. He knew that because of this they stopped believing in themselves and each other; as a result they treated each other very poorly. His despair and his illness took hold.

Eventually he lost his home and all of his dragon creations. He lived in a falling down house at the edge of the forest, far from the town.

The man was wracked with pain, physically and emotionally. From upon his straw mat, he cried out to the dragon, a cry that came from deep within his soul. He wailed and keened, not knowing what he wanted or needed. He looked into the night sky and wished for transformation from this wretched existence. If only the dragon might come to him and help him, this was his one desire and what little strength he had went into a plea to the dragon. Please come to my house and help me!

The dragon, which of course truly did exist, was moved by this searing call from the heart of the man, once the boy who loved and revered him. The dragon, which had always lived on the other side of the sky, knew that something had to be done. It was time for the dragon to come to the earth and act.

The skies opened on a clear and cold night, the stars shone as they had not shone before, with one star bigger and brighter than ever. This orb of a star, outshining all the others created a place in the sky where the fabric stretched and became thinner. The dragon knew this and burst through at that very spot, flying down to help the man.

Landing near the ramshackle house where the man lay in a pool of sweat and despair, the dragon took its enormous body and tail, wrapping it around the house to bring warmth and protection. The heavy, deep and warm breath of the dragon brought heat and the sparking scales of its hide brought light so that the man might start to heal. Feeling tremendous compassion, tears fell from the dragon’s eyes and brought moisture that the man might sip from as the tears permeated the thin walls of the house.

The man fell into a deep, deep slumber at last. In his delirium he felt warmer and safer and he never questioned the warmth or the water, he simply wanted to rest.

The dragon breathed a sigh of relief and also fell asleep with his huge dragon body protecting the house with presence and love.

A few hours later the dragon awoke and wanted to check in on the man who had remained asleep. At this point the dragon had unfolded itself a bit so that the whole house was no longer wrapped with its body.

The dragon lifted and moved its large head and put his enormous eye up against the window to look in on the sleeping man. The man awoke with a start and saw this orb of an eye staring in. In this eye, he saw his own reflection and it was frightening to him. He could not bear his disheveled appearance and downtrodden countenance. He was horrified by the sight of himself and by the black pool of eye that revealed this image. And the dragon only wanted to look in upon him – not scare him!

The man, who had once been the boy, clutched his heart in terror and jumped up. His fever was gone and his pain diminished; his need for the dragon was gone and replaced with fear, loathing and disbelief.

The one thing that the man had truly longed for happened and he could not accept it. The dragon, there to love and protect him could not keep the man from running away in horror. The man did not realize what it meant to face the very dragon that he had spent his life worshipping.

He screamed and screamed and then went running from the house. He fled and moved to the city where he lived out his days, toiling at a job he hated, suspect of his own existence and unkind to others.

To this day, the dragon is on the earth, longing to wrap its body around each home and heart, to give love, warmth and protection… if only the people would believe.

Be careful of what you wish for. It will transform you and reveal your true self to you. Only then can you begin to be healed.

by Fran Rossi Szpylczyn

Advent Evening Prayer – A Homiletic Reflection December 22, 2009

Luke 1:46-56 The Magnificat

We had our last night of Advent Evening Prayer tonight.  It has been so lovely- very prayerful and contemplative, very intimate. We had more people in the chapel than I thought given that Christmas is 3 days away and it is so cold outside.

I was happy to see so many of my friends as I felt very nervous. A lot of my St. Edward’s friends were there and one of my friends from where I work attended too. So did my boss – that really touched me beyond words. He had a crazy and busy day – a priest 3 days away from Christmas does not really have time to go to another church, 20 minutes away, to hear his secretary peach. But there he was, God bless him.

My friend Chris gratefully agreed to proclaim the reading I had chosen, which was the Gospel from today (see link below photo), Luke 1:46-56, the Magnificat.  So without further adieu, here is my sermon. These are my notes, I really did not read them word for word.  Also – the bolding helped me to not read but to simply glance and pull out what I needed to pull out!

—————————————————————————————————–

“How good of you, God” the journal entry began, “to make truth a relationship instead of an idea. Now there is room between you and me for growth, for conversation, for exception, for the infinite understandings created by intimacy, for the possibility to give back and to give something to You—as if I could give anything back to You.” (From a journal of priest and author Richard Rohr.)

As many of you know, I spend a lot of time at Catholic blogs and other online faith forums. One of the arguments that you frequently encounter in these places, launched in the comment sections of the blogs, is about who is following the rules or not, who is in or out, who is a good Catholic or a bad Catholic. It is a little crazy and actually upsetting. Hey – I’m not saying that rules are bad – we need rules. I am saying that without relationship, rules alone are just rules.

That is why the words I opened with, taken from Rohr’s journal, which remind us of something we often need reminding of… that the truth is relational and not simply an abstract idea or a set of rules alone. This – along with the Incarnation itself, are the ultimate game changers of Christianity. It is groundbreaking, nontraditional and filled with risk.

This notion of truth as a relationship is found in the words of The Magnificat from Luke’s Gospel that we just heard. The Magnificat is all about relationship – about what God has done for Mary, and subsequently has done for all of us and how Mary responds, how we are all invited to respond. Along with that, remember that Mary doesn’t just go spouting these words off into nowhere or writing them in a journal… They are relational – spoken directly to her cousin, and based on Elizabeth reaction to Mary’s pregnant presence. Pay attention because these words are essential – they are groundbreaking, nontraditional and filled with risk.

Of course the very notion of the Incarnation, the reality of the birth of Christ is – groundbreaking, nontraditional and filled with risk. And how very sad that in many ways we do everything humanly possible to make it anything but.

When God is a rule and not a relationship, when God is out there or up there or over there – and not in here, it is pretty easy to end up with a less-than-perfect situation. Then it becomes a relationship made of fear and exchange, a relationship that is transactional but not transforming, a relationship of paranoia, not metanoia. It creates a kind of distance between God and us – and that distance does not nurture or feed the intimacy required of our dealings with God and with how we are all asked to bring forth and give birth to the Word.

Of course, the intimate relationships we constantly seek and yet assiduously avoid, are often groundbreaking, nontraditional and filled with risk. So why should our dealings with God be any different?

I used to know a priest who frequently referred to “vending machine God.” We as humans tend to like that kind of God because the rules are pretty straightforward.

Seemingly all you have to do is have plenty of quarters and the desire to stand in front of the machine inserting them on a regular basis. The risk is low, the reward seems clear and in the end, it seems we can control our fate. After all, we can always get another roll of quarters.

But there we are – back at the Magnificat. It unfolds as a key element of the incarnation – relationship. This renders vending machine God as useless. God doesn’t want our quarters. God wants us – God actually wants relationship with us. Mary truly got that and this is how she continued the yes that began with the Annunciation:

“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior.
For he has looked upon his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.

Mary of the Magnificat does not cower and shake. She is not like some obsequious little lady dressed in blue, saying, “aw shucks you shouldn’t have and I’m not worthy.” No Mary stands in relationship with God in a way that one of the nuns of my childhood might have termed bold.

Real relationship and intimacy require boldness – boldness is just what is needed for things that are groundbreaking, nontraditional and filled with risk. Great risk offers great reward, but it is scary. No wonder that there is a well-worn path leading away from risk and straight to the vending machine.

God however, calls each one of us to this very sort of boldness, a boldness that is not arrogant, but is rather cooperation with grace. God initiates and we are invited to respond by participating and responding as the people that God has loved into being.

God has fallen in love with us and invites us to fall in love with God, over and over again. It makes me want to swoon… and to run. Talk about groundbreaking, nontraditional and filled with risk… Can’t we just have the vending machine God please?

I don’t know about you, but that might be more simple. I could bow out and walk away, claiming that I didn’t have quarters or that I didn’t want what was in the machine. Or – if I changed my mind, I could prepare for vending machine duty and start pumping the quarters into the slot.

To love and be loved, to stand in the greatness of what God has created in me, to accept the seed of the Word within and bring it to life, as Mary did, as we are invited to do… It is groundbreaking, nontraditional and filled with risk; it just might be too much.

If we do respond, we find ourselves on much more challenging terrain than we possibly imagined. That is when we have to remember Mary’s words and know that we are called to proclaim the same greatness of God… every day.

“How good of you, God” the journal entry began, “to make truth a relationship instead of an idea,” said Richard Rohr.

Can we remember that 3 days from now, when we celebrate the birth of that Truth as Jesus Christ?

O Emmanuel – O God With Us

O Rex Gentium – O King of Nations